Picturebook Memories
by tick.tock.clocks
Summary: A series of oneshots about the New Generation. May or may not be compliant with the movie. Accepting requests; any pairing! Ch. Five - Kirby refuses to go to the hospital even while sick. So what's the next best thing? Robbie's house!
1. Road Trip to Death

"Get in the car, Charlie boy; we're headed to Vegas."

He blinked once at the car that had haphazardly parked itself at an odd angle on his driveway. The short blonde haired woman beamed at him from the driver's seat, radiating all kinds of excitement. The three other occupants of the vehicle did not seem to share her enthusiasm, however; instead, they looked bored and possibly even _frightened_ of the events to come.

"Uh, Kirby…?" He asked hesitantly.

"No questions!" She said quickly. "Pack your bags and get your ass in the car. No, wait, better yet, just let us help you; you'll take too long. Come on, guys!" Kirby opened her side of the car and went all around, ushering the others she had dragged along out of their own seats and quickly into Charlie's house, followed by said owner.

Charlie stood in confusion as his crush went around his room with an empty suitcase with his name scribbled on and stuffed as many clothing items as she possibly could into it. She barked orders at the other three to do the same, telling them to pack any item they thought he might need on the trip.

"Why am I doing this…?" Trevor muttered, grabbing random trinkets off Charlie's desk and throwing them absentmindedly into the eternal abyss of the suitcase.

"Because you _owe_ me, and I'm not going on this death trip alone," Jill shot back, helping Kirby with the clothes. "I called Sidney and asked if she wanted to come along for the ride, but when I mentioned that the driver was Kirby, she immediately came up with this excuse of being too busy and having to do some errands or something."

"She knows what's good for her," Olivia scoffed, looking over at Charlie's collection of horror classics and rolling her eyes, "Of _course_ she'd come up with an excuse not to go when you mentioned that Kirby was the driver; she wouldn't be able to drive safely on a completely clear and perfectly straight road."

"Hey, yeah, I'm still here," Kirby interjected, trying to close the overstuffed suitcase with little success. Frowning slightly, she stepped on top of it and started jumping; forcing the case closed. She reached down and snapped the lock shut. "And for your information, I'm only driving because I'm the only one who can get us there fast enough."

Charlie paled. "Wait, wait, wait. _Where_ are we going?"

Kirby sent him a look. "_Vegas_, baby! I told you that earlier! I even sent you a text last night about it! You never did respond, but it was like at four in the morning so I assumed you wouldn't mind coming along. Even if you _did_ mind, I'd drag your ass with us anyway since it's a friend thing and you're part of our circle."

"Well, don't I feel loved."

"You know it." She winked at him. "Now get your stuff and let's go, we still need to pick up Robbie."

"Oh, he's coming, too?" He groaned as the short haired blonde _threw_ the suitcase at him and he staggered under the surprising weight; who knew a pile of clothes could weigh so much? Trevor snickered at him and Charlie shot him a glare. That shut him up.

"Of course!" Kirby continued, exiting the room and rushing out towards her car, hands twitching eagerly in excitement to get back on the road. "I told you this was a _friend_ thing. And besides, Robbie's your bestie. You two can go nerd and geek up the place with your horror movie trivia while I play some blackjack and get unbelievably rich."

Charlie smirked. "We're underage."

"They don't have to know that."

"Well, think about it for a second," Trevor drawled, following lazily behind the others and reclaiming his seat in the back of the vehicle. "Don't they have some sort of ID check thing? We're not getting in when we aren't even legally adults yet."

"Shut up, I'll think of that when we get there." Kirby huffed.

"You didn't really think this out, did you?" Even Olivia seemed mildly amused.

"I did! Just… not that far yet. But whatever, we're awesome, and we kick ass. We'll get in one way or another."

As soon as everyone was settled in their seats (the back of the car was only large enough to fit just three people; Charlie kind of wondered where they would put Robbie before toying with the idea of just tying him to the roof and driving off like that), Kirby floored it. Her foot stomped on the gas pedal and they swung in reverse instantly, nearly hitting a fire hydrant behind them. Her other foot quickly found the breaks and they stopped suddenly, jerking forward in their seats.

"Oh, _shit_!" Trevor swore, throwing an arm over his face dramatically. "What the hell, Kirby?"

"Relax, relax. I'm just a bit rusty, is all. Dewey finally gave me back my license after confiscating it for six months; I'm itching and roaring to get back on the road!"

"Oh my God. We're going to die." Olivia was in disbelief.

"No, we are _not,_" The short haired blond muttered, "We're going to Robbie's house, and we're all going to be perfectly _fine._ Stop whining and just appreciate the fact that I'm actually willing to drive you all!" Not wanting to face her awesome wrath, they instantly shut up. They drove along the road just a few miles over the speed limit, and it made Charlie nervous. Robbie's house wasn't really that far away…

He coughed, "Uh, hey. Don't you think we should go a little… slower? We aren't really that far from his house, and he can walk to the car on his own. He could use the exercise." Trevor burst out laughing.

"Haha! Have you _seen_ the nerd? He's like a walking stick! You sure you aren't talking about _yourself_ there, Charlie?" Charlie resisted the urge to hit him across the face.

Jill looked out of the window absentmindedly. "So, where _is_ Robbie's house?" She asked. "I've never been there before."

Kirby shrugged. "I actually have no idea. I was hoping to just wing it and go in a random direction until Charlie told me to stop."

"Wow, really? Okay. Let me drive." Charlie groaned.

"No! My car, my rules. And rule number one is to _sit your ass down and let _me_ do the driving_!"

"I'm not even standing!"

"Just a precaution!"

The dark haired teenager sighed and leaned back in his seat, looking out of the window. "You're almost there, anyway. Just drive a little more down this street and then turn left. I'll tell you when you get there."

"That was the plan, Charlie." Kirby stepped on the gas pedal and they lurched forward once more, grabbing onto the sides of their seats so as to not crash through the front window. The driver herself had a wicked grin on her face, laughter just bubbling from the back of her throat. "You can't honestly tell me this isn't fun!"

Olivia screeched, "Jesus, Kirby! You know they put speed limits here for a _reason_!"

"Who cares? I'm Kirbiline Reed; screw the law!"

Poor Jill looked sick to her stomach and awfully pale as Kirby frantically turned the steering wheel to the left at the first turn they came across. She swore the car tipped on its side and was just _barely_ managing to not completely flip over on the right side wheels. Trevor crashed into the window with a painful sounding smack and she couldn't help but laugh a little. Horror quickly made its way back into her system as they landed back on all fours with a loud boom, and skid down the new road towards Robbie's house.

"God damn it! I can see why Sidney didn't want to come!" Trevor shouted, exasperated. "We're all going to be _dead_ by the time we get there!"

"Don't worry, Trevs! I'm better than that!" As if to prove her point, she stepped even harder on the gas pedal (much to the horror of the other four occupants of the car) and everyone was positive she was at lest fourty miles above the speed limit.

Charlie saw his best friend's house approaching at an alarming rate. "There! _There!_"

"Got it!" Kirby spun the wheel so quickly and hard that the car tilted over again, this time on the left side. Jill clung for dear life to her seat so that she wouldn't fall out into Kirby; now it was Charlie's turn to smack painfully against the window.

Despite all odds, they managed to park perfectly in the driveway in front of the garage. Olivia in the back seemed to be hyperventilating, grasping onto her chest and breathing heavily. Jill looked awfully pale and she might have been thinking she might throw up if it weren't for the fact that Trevor was currently trying to reach his arms around the seat to hug her; that instantly shot all feelings of sickness and replaced them with annoyance and irritation. Charlie looked as if he were going to fall unconscious anytime soon.

Kirby was still grinning with that triumphant smirk of hers.

"Alright, girls and Charlie," She said, turning to face the occupants of the back and ignoring the annoyed glare Trevor shot at her, "Who wants to be the one to get Robbie out of his bed and into this car? Or should we all go together like we did for Charlie?"

"How about _you_ do it?" Charlie muttered helplessly, prying himself off the glass window.

Kirby put her hand to her chin in thought, "Hm, nah. I'm not going unless we all go together. So which will it be?"

There was no answer. Either they were ignoring her completely or still trying to get over their horrible case of serious motion sickness. Kirby tapped her fingers on the steering wheel impatiently before sighing and opening her side of the door. "Alright, we're going together. Out of the car!"

She pressed the horn of the car and wouldn't let up until they were all out of the vehicle. Before she herself could get out of the driver's seat, Robbie came out of his house in his pajamas and ran up to them with an irritated look on his face.

"What the hell, guys? It's only like, nine in the morning."

"Yes, and you are coming to Vegas with us." Kirby said, staring him straight in the face.

"… Vegas? As in, _Las_ Vegas?"

"The one and only."

Robbie looked lost in thought. He remained that way for about a minute before coming up with, "… But why?"

Kirby sighed. "Didn't you read the text I sent you last night?"

"Last ni—oh. Yeah, sorry if my first thought at four in the morning isn't to read your all-important texts instead of sleeping. I didn't really appreciate the sound waking me up."

"Well, it should be!" She laughed. More seriously, "Now get your ass in the car."

Olivia turned to look at her with an amused grin on her face, "We're not going to let him pack his stuff and change his clothes?"

"Wait," Robbie held up his hands, "I never even said I was going! And my parents, they—"

"You're going with us whether you want to or not," Kirby interrupted, "And if your parents say no, we're kidnapping you. You're going."

"… How long are we going to be gone?" He asked exasperatedly.

"Oh, about a week or so. Two if I really like the place."

Charlie just realized something. "Wait. A _week_? We have school all week this week and next. How are you going to explain our sudden absences to the school office? They'll call our parents if we aren't there and then we'll be royally screwed over when we return."

Kirby seemed to just realize it herself. "Oh, yeah. Well… if we really do get our asses kicked when we come back, then… we all wear fake moustaches and move to Mexico."

She was serious.

"Oh, _hell_ no," Trevor groaned, "I have a reputation to uphold here, unlike _you_ nerds." He gave Jill an apologetic glance, which she promptly ignored.

"Well, you'll have an even _bigger_ reputation to uphold when you suddenly vanish and don't return." Kirby nodded before turning back to Robbie. "And _fine_. We're behind schedule, but I'll give you time to get your stuff. Here." She made her way to the back of the car and opened the trunk to reach in and throw another suitcase at him. He stumbled with it before finally securing a good grip. "Now _go_! You have only five minutes. Possibly less if I get bored."

Robbie quickly ran back in his house, suitcase in his arms.

Kirby turned to Charlie, "Go help him pack up. He's _your_ best friend."

Charlie decided to voice his other concern at that moment. "Hey, uh," he started, "Where are we even going to _put_ Robbie, anyway? The back is kind of crowded as it is. I'd rather not spend over four hours crammed in there."

Jill stated her opinion, "Put him in the trunk. Sure, he won't like it, but it's better than nothing."

Kirby sighed. "We're stuffing him in the back seats with you guys. He'll have to sit on someone or something to make you all fit, but you know what, that's just going to be how it has to be."

"Are you kidding me?" Trevor groaned. "I'm not letting him anywhere near me with that recording thing of his."

"Who knows, maybe he won't bring it."

Robbie chose that moment to run back out of his house, suitcase now full and he was just centimeters from dragging it against the ground due to its weight. Secured snugly around his head, of course, were his recording equipment for his webcast. "Alright, I'm done. I just barely managed to do it before my parents woke up. I think we should leave now before they call me."

"Good idea." Kirby sat back in the driver's seat, ignoring the way Robbie paled when he saw that she was the driver. Jill made her way back to the passenger's seat, and Trevor, Olivia, and Charlie got back in the back three seats. Robbie shuffled nervously on his feet.

"Um," he started, "Where am I supposed to…?"

"We're tying you to the roof, good friend of mine," Charlie said nonchalantly, buckling his seat belt in, "Have fun."

Robbie paled even more, now looking a sickly white color.

Kirby sighed, "He's just kidding. Just fit yourself in somewhere in the back. Sit on Trevor."

"Hell no." Trevor and Robbie both said in unison, frowning.

"He's not sitting _anywhere_ on me," Olivia crossed her arms and Robbie almost looked disappointed. "Go sit on your bestie Charlie."

"Haha, funny." Charlie smirked. He turned to Robbie, "Looks like we really don't have a seat for you. So, where will it be, the roof or the trunk?"

Kirby opened the door on her side and got out, making her way towards the back. She opened the door on Trevor's side and pushed Robbie in, causing the three occupants of the back to squeal in surprise as the lanky teenager was sent sprawling across all of them. Kirby slammed the car door shut (ignoring Robbie's pained cry as she hit his foot) and made her way back to the driver's seat.

By the time they all finally got out of the driveway, Kirby and Jill were safe and snug securely in the front. In the back, Charlie and Olivia had their piece of mind. Trevor was looking out of the window in annoyance as Robbie sat on his legs awkwardly, the seatbelt covering them both.

"Alright, kiddies!" Kirby shouted in excitement, gripping the steering wheel so hard Jill feared it might break, "We're off to _Las Vegas_!" She put the car in reverse and much like when they left Charlie's house, she nearly crashed into another fire hydrant. Robbie was already starting to regret his decision of going along with them so easily.

Kirby turned the car around and off they went, in a series of screaming and breaking several laws along the way.

**OoO**

**A/N: Well… I never expected to be writing anything **_**Scream **_**related, ahaha.**

**I saw all four movies yesterday and I have to admit, they were a lot better than I thought they would be. (I actually didn't like the third very much, and the first half of the second was boring to me, but all in all they were really good and exceeded my expectations). My favorite of the movies is the fourth one, and even if it did seem a bit fast paced for me, I liked it the most. (My obvious bias on one of the actors in that movie **_**totally**_** had nothing to do it. Totally. Besides making me want to watch the movie in the first place. After that, noooope. … Really. Yes.)**

**I was just going to make this a oneshot and leave it at that, but I can't really imagine myself writing a full-fledged story for this series anytime soon, so I'll just make this a oneshot collection.**

**So… If anyone wants me to write about anything (involving the New Generation, of course; I love them), then I'll be happy to take requests. They can be about **_**anything**_**; it doesn't have to be specifically humorous. I'll also accept any pairings. Any. Doesn't matter if it's hetero or slash, either kind. I don't really have a pairing preference for this series (for once), so all's good.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading this awkward oneshot! C:**


	2. Chatroom Wars

**A/N: I had way more fun with this than I probably should have, lol.**

**Kind of filling Billy Bob D's request for a chapter in a script format. Truth be told, I've never written anything in script format before, and even **_**this **_**isn't really in script form. I'm not a script writer, ahaha |D;;**

**Buuuut, I kind of improvised. This entire chapter consists of an online instant messaging conversation between our six loved ones. It actually went on longer than I thought it would. I hope this is alright. xD;;**

**Enjoy!**

**OoO**

_Charlie, Jill, TheHorrorFanatic, RightBackAtYa, TheOneAndOnly, and 2Cool4U have entered the chatroom._

**RightBackAtYa:** … Dude. Charlie. Jill. You two have the worst and most boring screen names I have ever had the displeasure of seeing.

**Jill: **You told us to make these messaging accounts, so… yeah. You never told us we had to have 'cool' usernames.

**Charlie: **Right. And 'RightBackAtYa'? What kind of username is _that_?

**RightBackAtYa:**Oh, there was this show I saw once a few years back. It had this little pink puffball named Kirby as the star and it was so cute! The show was something like, _Kirby: Right Back At Ya!_ So… I borrowed the idea from there.

**Jill:**You mean stole.

**RightBackAtYa:** Whatever, same thing.

**TheOneAndOnly: **Uh… no, not really.

**Jill: **What about _you_, Olivia? You can't be the one and only Olivia in the world.

**TheOneAndOnly: **Well, I am the most important.

**TheHorrorFanatic: ** That _is_ true C:

**TheOneAndOnly:** Ugh.

**TheHorrorFanatic: **… What? DD:

**Charlie:** Robbie, your username makes it sound as if you're trying _way_ too hard to be this generation's new Randy. I get that you're a horror fan, as am I, but… really?

**TheHorrorFanatic: **Well… it's fitting. e.o And I'm not _trying_ to be the new Randy, Mr. 'We're gonna be this generation's new Randy and Sidney'. :C

**Charlie:** Oh, come on; that was a _joke_.

**TheHorrorFanatic: **A mean one. :'C

**Jill: ** Trevor… I'm not even going to ask about your username.

**2Cool4U: **come on bby dnt b like dat

**RightBackAtYa:** OKAY YEAH. If you're going to talk like that, then don't even bother, Trevor. Even _Robbie_ has a better grasp on written English than you.

**TheHorrorFanatic: **… I'm not entirely sure if that was supposed to be a compliment or an insult. D:

**Charlie: **Just take it in stride, Robbie. Just take it in stride.

**2Cool4U: **u cnt tell me wat 2 do

**RightBackAtYa: **I sure as hell can if you're going to type like that!

**TheOneAndOnly: **I think Trevor's trying too hard to be cool, hence the username.

**2Cool4U: **I dnt see wat the problem iz if u can undrstand me

**Charlie:** There are _so_ many things wrong with it.

**RightBackAtYa:** Okay, that's it. Robbie, you're the administrator of this chat right? Ban this guy's ass.

**TheHorrorFanatic:** Will do! Just wait for two seconds. :D

**2Cool4U: **wait no u cnt

_2Cool4U has been banned from the chatroom._

_2Cool4U has left the chatroom._

**Jill: **Finally.

**RightBackAtYa: **Feelin' better, Jill? I know how you feel about him and all…

**Jill: **I'm fine, really. Don't worry about me.

**RightBackAtYa: **If you say so. You've been acting a bit weird lately, so…

**Jill:** I'm fine, okay?

**RightBackAtYa:** …

**Charlie: **…

**TheOneAndOnly: **…

**TheHorrorFanatic: **Um… well… to get us off the awkward turn in conversation, what did you want us all online for, Kirby? O:

**RightBackAtYa:** Right… uh… I wanted to discuss Cinema Club with everyone.

**TheOneAndOnly: **Aaaand I'm out of here.

**RightBackAtYa:** NONONOWAITHOLDONOLIVIA. You're going to hear me out, and you're going to LIKE IT.

**TheOneAndOnly: **I'm not even _in_ Cinema Club, Kirby.

**RightBackAtYa: **After this awesome idea I had, you'll be _begging_ Charlie to let you in.

**Charlie: **Oh, how I do_ love_ to be begged…

**TheHorrorFanatic: **… Dude. ._.

**Jill:** Does this have anything to do with me, Kirby?

**RightBackAtYa: **Well, not you _specifically_, but yeah, it'll probably impact you too.

**Jill: **Alright, then. I suppose I'll hear you out. :)

**TheHorrorFanatic: **oh HOLY SHIT

**Charlie: **What?

**RightBackAtYa: **What?

**TheHorrorFanatic: **Jill actually used an emoticon in her post! :DD

**Charlie: **…

**Jill:** … You're right. I'll remember not to use them from now on.

**TheHorrorFanatic: **But… they're fun :'C

**TheOneAndOnly: **To you, they are.

**RightBackAtYa: **Anyway…

**RightBackAtYa: **I just wanted to propose this awesome idea I had last night and couldn't wait until Monday to tell you all about.

**Charlie: **And that would be…?

_Charlie has changed his username to CharlieTheUnicorn._

**CharlieTheUnicorn: **wait WHAT THE HELL

**Jill: **… LOL

**TheOneAndOnly: **… What…?

**RightBackAtYa: **… Charlie, LOL, but this isn't really increasing your chances of going on a date with me.

**CharlieTheUnicorn:** I DIDN'T DO THIS

_Jill has changed her username to JackAndJill._

**JackAndJill:** … I didn't do this!

**CharlieTheUnicorn: **God damn it, I can't even change my own username back!

**TheOneAndOnly: **What's going on?

_TheOneAndOnly has changed her username to RobbiesFutureGirlfriend._

**RobbiesFutureGirlfriend: **… oh DAMN IT ROBBIE

**TheHorrorFanatic: **AHAHA

**CharlieTheUnicorn: **STOP ABUSING YOUR ADMIN POWER

**TheHorrorFanatic: **I only made your boring names _better_! xDD

**RightBackAtYa: **… I'll admit: this is _hilarious_.

**JackAndJill: **No, it isn't! I can't even change my name back!

**JackAndJill:** Robbie, you are going to change this RIGHT NOW or I AM GOING TO KILL YOU

**TheHorrorFanatic: **You don't mean it _literally_, do you?

**JackAndJill: **You want to try me?

**TheHorrorFanatic: **… On second thought, no.

_JackAndJill has changed her username to Jill._

**TheHorrorFanatic: **Charlie and Olivia are staying as they are now, though. C:

**CharlieTheUnicorn: **I swear, Robbie, if you don't change me back _right now_, I am kicking you out of Cinema Club _forever._

**TheHorrorFanatic: **… Shit.

_CharlieTheUnicorn has changed his username to MrScaryMan._

**MrScaryMan: **ROBBIE.

**TheHorrorFanatic: **I didn't do that! DD:

_TheHorrorFanatic has changed his username to ClosetBoy._

**ClosetBoy: **wait what

**Jill: **Now _that's _fitting.

**ClosetBoy: **W-whaaaat?

**MrScaryMan:** Nice try, Robbie, but changing your username isn't going to make me believe you aren't behind this.

**ClosetBoy:**I swear I didn't change mine or yours! D:

**ClosetBoy:** …

**ClosetBoy: **Well… I changed yours the first time, but not this time! Dx

_RobbiesFutureGirlfriend has changed her username to StuckUpBitch._

**StuckUpBitch: **What the hell?

**RightBackAtYa: **GAHAHAHA

**MrScaryMan: ** oh GOD DAMN IT

**ClosetBoy: **…

**ClosetBoy: **;A;

**Jill:** Oh Kirby, you magnificent bastard.

**RightBackAtYa: ** u no it, bby ;D

**Jill: **… Okay, you aren't Trevor.

**RightBackAtYa: **Haha, sorry. Couldn't help myself there.

_RightBackAtYa has changed her username to RELINQUISHYOURADMINPOWERS._

**RELINQUISHYOURADMINPOWERS: **aw hell

**ClosetBoy: **You're forgetting that _I _still have admin powers as well!

**MrScaryMan:** … How did Kirby even _get_ admin powers in the first place if Robbie's the one who created the chatroom?

**RELINQUISHYOURADMINPOWERS: **I let him interview me for a 'special episode', as he called it, of Hall Pass.

**MrScaryMan: **… Ah. Makes sense.

**ClosetBoy: **It was a hit with the viewers of the show! You're a _star_, Kirby! :D

**Jill: **…

**RELINQUISHYOURADMINPOWERS: **Yeah. Right.

**StuckUpBitch: **Can I _PLEASE_ have my old username back now?

**ClosetBoy: **Sure thing!

_StuckUpBitch has changed her username to RobbiesFutureGirlfriend._

**RobbiesFutureGirlfriend: **NOT THAT ONE

**RELINQUISHYOURADMINPOWERS: **LOL

**Jill: **LOL

**MrScaryMan: **LOL

**ClosetBoy: **Well, you said _old_ username, so…

**RobbiesFutureGirlfriend: **Oh, it is SO on.

_**RobbiesFutureGirlfriend to RELINQUISHYOURADMINPOWERS**_**: **_I have an idea for another one of Robbie's usernames…_

_**RELINQUISHYOURADMINPOWERS to RobbiesFutureGirlfriend: **__I'm listening…_

**ClosetBoy: **Um… why did it just suddenly get really quiet?

**MrScaryMan: **They're planning something. I just know it.

**Jill: **Oh, boy…

_ClosetBoy has changed his name to RagingHomosexual._

**RagingHomosexual: **oh GOD DAMN IT

**MrScaryMan: **OH MY GOD LOL

**Jill: **LOOOOOL

**RobbiesFutureGirlfriend: **My own idea. Isn't it beautiful?

**RELINQUISHYOURADMINPOWERS: ** you guys have no idea how hard i'm laughing at all of this OH MY GOD

**RagingHomosexual: **Two can play at that game!

_RELINQUISHYOUADMINPOWERS has changed her username to CharliesLover._

_MrScaryMan has changed his username to UNHELPFULBESTFRIEND._

_Jill has changed her name to OddOneOut._

**RagingHomosexual: **How do you like THEM apples?

**UNHELPFULBESTFRIEND: **… I think I like this username more than the last one, actually.

**RagingHomosexual: **Oh, well in that case…

_UNHELPFULBESTFRIEND has changed his username to MrScaryMan._

**MrScaryMan: **I hate you.

**RagingHomosexual: **Less than three~

**MrScaryMan: **… what?

**RagingHomosexual: **You know those heart symbols people post online with the less than symbol and the number three? Less than three!

**MrScaryMan: **… Oh, screw you.

**RagingHomosexual: **… To stay true with the username Kirby has so _affectionately _placed upon me, I'd say anytime, but… no.

**MrScaryMan: ** ASKADLJASHJKL;;

**CharliesLover: **… What did Charlie just say?

**RagingHomosexual: **I'm pretty sure he just smashed his face against the keyboard.

**CharliesLover: **… Ah.

**RobbiesFutureGirlfriend: **Hey, how come _my _username didn't change?

**RagingHomosexual: **Because it still applies!

**RobbiesFutureGirlfriend:** Not to your _current _username, it doesn't!

**RagingHomosexual: **… That hurt, you know. :'C

_RagingHomosexual has changed his username to TheHorrorFanatic._

**TheHorrorFanatic: **I think I'll just stick with this.

**TheHorrorFanatic: **And before Kirby can do anything about it…

_CharliesLover's account has been downgraded into 'Member'._

**CharliesLover: **… Damn it.

**OddOneOut: **Wait, I don't get my username…?

**TheHorrorFanatic: **Well… you were the only one at the time with your original username, so… you're the 'Odd One Out'! :DD

**OddOneOut: **… Change it back to Jill before I text Trevor saying you hurt my feelings.

**TheHorrorFanatic: **Ouch. Okay, okay. Hold on.

_OddOneOut has changed her username to Jill._

**TheHorrorFanatic: **Better?

**Jill: **Much.

**RobbiesFutureGirlfriend: **Hey, what about me?

**TheHorrorFanatic: **… That stays. C:

**RobbiesFutureGirlfriend: **…

_RobbiesFutureGirlfriend has left the chatroom._

**TheHorrorFanatic: **Aw… :'C

**MrScaryMan: **Change my username back, Robbie.

**TheHorrorFanatic: **You people take the fun out of everything…

**TheHorrorFanatic: **… Wait.

**TheHorrorFanatic: **…

**TheHorrorFanatic: **Why does it sound like someone's trying to break down my door?

_**Jill to MrScaryMan: **__I actually texted Trevor about Robbie 'hurting my feelings' around five minutes ago. I'm pretty sure Robbie's screwed right about now._

_**MrScaryMan to Jill: **__Oh, you are _clever.

**CharliesLover: **Wait, what's happening? No one's talking anymore!

**TheHorrorFanatic: **Uh, the pounding went away, but it sounds like someone's trying to break through my window

**TheHorrorFanatic: **OH GOD TREVOR WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

**TheHorrorFanatic: **HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE I LI

_TheHorrorFanatic has left the chatroom._

**CharliesLover: **oh LOL

**Jill: ** Don't expect Robbie to be able to walk in a straight line easily until about Thursday two weeks from now.

**MrScaryMan: **Niiiice.

**CharliesLover: **Well, since we didn't get to talk about my Cinema Club idea today, I guess we'll hold that off to whenever Robbie feels better. I'm gonna go to the mall. Jill, wanna come with?

**Jill: **Sure! But… only if I drive.

**CharliesLover: **Fiiiine.

**Jill: **Yay!

_Jill has left the chatroom._

_CharliesLover has left the chatroom._

**MrScaryMan: **So, I'm the only one left, huh…

**MrScaryMan: **… WAIT

**MrScaryMan: **MY USERNAME

**OoO**

**A/N: If the constant name changing got too confusing, here's who was who –**

**Charlie, CharlieTheUnicorn, MrScaryMan, UNHELPFULBESTFRIEND – Charlie**

**Jill, JackAndJill, OddOneOut – Jill**

**TheHorrorFanatic, ClosetBoy, RagingHomosexual – Robbie**

**RightBackAtYa, RELINQUISHYOURADMINPOWERS, CharliesLover – Kirby**

**TheOneAndOnly, RobbiesFutureGirlfriend, StuckUpBitch – Olivia**

**2Cool4U – Trevor**

**Yep! So here was the odd chapter two, lol. Next chapter I'll fill out Samtastic's request and then… no specific plans for anything after that, ahaha.**

… **I think I may have been a bit too harsh on Robbie this chapter. I love him. He's actually my favorite character. xD;;**

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Nothing Gained, Nothing Earned

**A/N: Sorry for the delay, most of it was due to having no motivation, lol. But the third chapter is here, and it is pretty long! (It's actually a bit dialogue heavy, so I hope you all don't mind ;;)**

**I actually strayed far from my original interpretation of the request, but I hope this is okay as well ;;**

**I'm going to do another request next chapter, and there are multiple hints as to what that request is in this chapter! (They're pretty easy to spot!)**

**So… I hope you all enjoy!**

**OoO**

"Dude, you should probably get yourself checked at a hospital," Charlie had said one morning to his best friend. Both were currently in the latter's house; the long dark haired teen was sitting in a computer chair, absentmindedly spinning in circles, while the other was laying down on his bed with his face stuffed into the pillow.

"No," came the muffled voice of Robbie, "I don't wanna."

"Seriously," Charlie sighed, "You've been having these symptoms for like a week now, and it's only getting worse. Just… arrange a check-up or something. It's not that bad."

"Oh, yeah? And how would you know?"

"Everyone's supposed to get check-ups every once in a while. You know, to make sure you're still healthy or haven't contracted any STD's. Knowing you though, you probably wouldn't even be in danger of the latter."

"… Was that a crack at my virginity?"

"Maybe." Charlie shrugged. Robbie threw a pillow at him. The pillow hit its target and fell to the floor, leaving a rather unamused expression on the teenager's face.

Robbie shrugged, "You were asking for it."

"Anyway," Charlie stood up, stretching his arms and legs, "If you really don't get better soon, you might seriously want to consider going to the hospital. You might be dying this very second without even realizing it."

"Haha, very funny," the other teenager laughed mockingly. "Robbie Mercer, seventeen years old, dying of an unknown terminal disease that mimics the symptoms of _the common cold_."

"You never know," Charlie shrugged. "Sometimes I swear I can hear your coughing and sneezing from _my house_, and I'm not even your neighbor. I'm surprised your own neighbors haven't called 911 yet while thinking you were dying here."

"It's not _that_ ba—ahh, ahh… _choo_!" He cut himself off by quickly grabbing a tissue from the box sitting on the stand next to his bed and quickly holding it up to his nose. Blinking the tears that sprung to his eyes away, he crumpled the used tissue and threw it in the direction of the trash can, not caring if he made it in or not. It bounced on the rim of the bin and fell just outside of it, joining the countless others already littering the floor.

"Mm," Charlie mumbled to himself, nodding his head, "And how many boxes of tissues have you gone through the past two days alone?"

"Screw you," Robbie mumbled, rubbing his bright red nose, "I thought you were here to cheer me up and hang out with me, not berate and lecture me on going to the hospital for a stupid cold."

His friend held up his hands defensively, "No, no. I'm not going to do anything strenuous or that requires physical contact with you until you are feeling better. If you actually do die, then… at least I won't have contracted your disease if it's contagious."

"I'm not going to the darn hospital," Robbie pouted, "It's full of doctors, and syringes, and… _doctors_." He said it as if it were a cursed and taboo word. Charlie snorted.

"Well, think about it. You haven't been to school for the past week, which by the way isn't doing so well for your school record ever since Kirby's _Las Vegas_ escapade, so… The school's going to pretty much screw you over if you don't get your ass back there as soon as possible."

"I'd rather stay here and _stay_ sick than go to school."

"That'll definitely do wonders for a possible future career!" Charlie smiled sarcastically and gave Robbie two thumbs up. Robbie considered throwing his other pillow at his so-called 'friend' but then decided against it as it meant giving up his last means of comfort over a few insulting words.

"Okay, you've made your few cracks at my intelligence, health, _and_ virginity today. I think that's enough, don't you?"

"It's never enough."

"Yeah, anyway, _I think you should leave now._"

"But why?" Charlie smirked. "Who's going to kick me out? Your mom's out working for the rest of the day, your dad doesn't even _live in this house anymore_, and you're too weak to even take two steps out of bed without falling over. It's not like _I'm_ in a rush to go anywhere, either; it's Saturday. I've got no plans. Why not spend it with my _best bud_?"

"… I really hate you sometimes. And I am _not_ too weak to stay out of bed! I'm as strong as ever!" As if to prove his point, Robbie shoved his body up off his pillow and rolled so that he was standing upright on the floor without leaning against his bed or nightstand for support. He crossed his arms and smirked triumphantly when a throbbing pain exploded in his head and he fell backwards, clutching the area.

Charlie seemed amused. "You were saying?"

"I just… stood up too quickly, is all…" Robbie dragged himself back to his trustworthy pillow. "I'm going to sleep. You go do… whatever, as long as it doesn't involve you touching any of my stuff or burning my house down."

"What if I drag you outside and _then_ burn your house down?"

"No."

**OoO**

"Still sick in bed, huh," Kirby mused, taking her school supplies out of her locker. Charlie and Olivia stood on either side of her, waiting for her to gather all of her belongings so they could leave.

"Sick as a dog," Charlie confirmed. "At least, I'm pretty sure he still is, considering how he _still _hasn't come back to school. The last time I talked to him was five days ago; haven't heard a word from him since."

"Maybe he's dead." Olivia sounded hopeful.

Kirby shook her head. "Nah, I'm sure we'd have heard about it by now if he was. No death ever goes unnoticed in _this_ town."

"Ain't that the truth," Charlie agreed, smiling at her. She ignored him.

"It's probably something serious, then." She said instead to no one in particular. Charlie looked disappointed for a fraction of a second before resuming his usual expression. "We should probably go pay him a visit, and if he's five minutes away from death, we'll drag him to the hospital whether he wants us to or not."

Olivia frowned. "Do we have to?"

"Of course. We need our sassy gay friend to make our boring lives just a bit more exciting."

Charlie snorted, "He wouldn't appreciate you calling him that. But yeah, I agree with you. If you want to head over there right now, I'll drive." He took his car keys out of his pocket and dangled it in the air. "It's not really fair that we have to spend most of our day being bored out of our minds here while he gets to just rest in bed all day."

"Really!" Kirby huffed. "We have science class together, and a few weeks ago we were told of an upcoming project that we were going to have to do with a partner. He agreed to be mine, but guess what? We got to choose partners today, and because he wasn't here, I got stuck with Samantha the snob." She reached out to Charlie and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him closer to her, "_Do you realize how screwed I am now?_"

"Relax," Charlie eased, carefully prying her hands off him and taking a step backwards, "We'll get him to the hospital, he'll be cured, and he'll come back to school to be your partner again. It's that simple!"

"Not really," Olivia interjected, "I remember one time in freshman year when the entire class had to go and get a mandatory flu shot; he made such a fuss about it and hid in the janitor's closet when it was his turn. We practically had to hold him down and force it into him!"

"Oh yeah, that was hilarious," Charlie smirked, "Especially when he got sick with the actual flu the next week."

"So we've established that Robbie's not a very big fan of hospitals or needles," Kirby sighed, "But that doesn't mean we can just let him stay sick. Things have gotten a bit boring around here without him constantly recording our every move."

Olivia stared at her. "You did not just say that."

"Just did. Deal with it. He's a part of our group; you just don't like admitting it because of his little crush on you."

"I thought you said he was gay."

"Who knows?" Kirby shrugged. "Definitely an interesting case to be sure, but oh well. Now come on, we have to go pick him up now." She snatched the keys out of Charlie's hands and made her way towards the entrance of the school where his car was parked in the parking lot.

Charlie quickly followed her. "Uh, Kirby, you know I really like you and all, but… could you please let me drive? Just this once? I don't want the same thing that happened to your car happen to mine."

"That was _so_ not my fault," Kirby groaned, "I swear, it was all Trevor. It was his fault that we had to walk all the way back from Las Vegas without a car."

"Please don't remind me of that." Olivia sighed and followed behind the other two.

**OoO**

It had taken them a while (two hours and thirty two minutes, Charlie counted), but they finally managed to drag Robbie out of his house (kicking and screaming), stuff him into the car (tie him down with ropes), and pull him by his legs (still kicking and screaming) into the hospital.

"At least now we know that he's still alive!" Kirby had said gleefully. Olivia shot her many glares from then on.

They somehow managed to seat him down in one of the chairs in the waiting lobby (more like Charlie made the ropes tighter while Kirby sat on him), and Robbie was still throwing his fit. "I freaking swear, Robbie," Kirby groaned, shifting so that his rocking didn't throw her off, "You're going to make me go deaf!"

"_I am not going to the hospital!_" Was the response from the protesting teenager.

"You're already here," Charlie pointed out, "And no, you may not go home."

"_Untie me now and Kirby get off me I am not going to see the doctor do you know what they freaking do to patients here huh well they do these TESTS on them and EXPERIMENTS and they always get scarred for life but the doctors have these weird mind controlling powers that force them to not tell anyone and—_" He cut himself off with a sneeze. Robbie took a few seconds to recompose himself before continuing, "_And then no one ever finds out about them because of that and you know what else—_"

"Shut the hell up!" Olivia covered his mouth with her hand, ignoring his squirming and muffled protests. "You're not even making sense anymore."

"He stopped making sense after the first five minutes of getting him out of his bed," Kirby pointed out in disdain, "I think being holed up in his room for two weeks drove him insane."

"What else do you expect?" Charlie asked, sitting down in a nearby chair. "Poor guy didn't have anyone but himself to talk to for two whole weeks; I'm sure anyone would have gone insane under the same circumstances."

"Why didn't he text anyone?" Olivia asked, still covering Robbie's mouth. Charlie shrugged.

"No clue. Last time I was at his house, I didn't see his phone anywhere. I didn't think of it at the time, but it's pretty weird now that you brought it up."

"Uh, Olivia…?" Kirby sounded a bit worried.

"Maybe his mom took his phone away, thinking that using technology while he was sick was bad for him," The long haired blonde either ignored or didn't hear the other. "I know my parents don't particularly approve of me texting while I'm sick."

"True," Charlie sighed, "But I've known him since kindergarten, and his phone's been on him ever since he first got it. It'd be weird for his mom to suddenly start taking it away now."

"Guys…"

"His family's pretty dysfunctional," Olivia continued, "Mom and dad separated, suddenly living with just one parent, things change. Maybe that did, too."

"Maybe. What if –"

"_GUYS!_" Kirby screeched, her voice echoing throughout the waiting room and causing everyone, including the other people waiting with them, to cover their ears. "Olivia, take your hand off Robbie's mouth _right now_, you're covering his nose and if you don't pull away you're going to suffocate him."

Olivia looked over and quickly snatched her hand away, noticing that the tomboy was correct. Robbie had since been passed out, and she didn't know whether she should be relieved that he would finally stop screaming or worried if he really was dead now. Kirby put her fingers to his neck and nodded, "Yeah, he still has a pulse. Thanks for not listening to me when I first called you though," she added sarcastically.

"I didn't hear you…" Olivia muttered, looking away.

"Well…" Charlie was all too aware of all of the eyes in the room being focused on the group of four. "… Don't you people have anything better to do?" They quickly went back to their magazines.

A couple of seconds passed before a man in what looked to be his mid-thirties walked out into the waiting room, clipboard in hand. "Robbie Mercer?" He called out, looking around.

"Oh, that would be this boy right here," Kirby pointed to the unconscious teenager lying sprawled against three chairs, "We had a bit of an… issue."

The doctor seemed horribly confused; Charlie honestly couldn't blame him. "I'll help bring him over," he said as he stood to help Kirby lift up Robbie's limp body. "Olivia, you can help too, if you want."

"No thanks."

"Bitch," Kirby muttered as they passed the long haired blonde, Robbie in tow.

"Thanks, I worked hard to get that reputation. Got to keep it up, you know?" Olivia rolled her eyes and followed the three.

They followed the doctor back to his office, where they were instructed to put Robbie down on the comfortable padded exam table. Kirby asked if they could stay in the room with their friend, and the doctor quickly answered positively.

Olivia sat on a small plastic chair, idly kicking her legs back and forth. Kirby yawned and decided to play with one of the little children's toys she found in a corner; it was one where she had to navigate the small metal ball through a series of plastic tubes to make it to the other side. Charlie sat in the chair closest to the window, choosing to look out of it and watch the passing cars outside.

"So," the doctor spoke up, quickly gathering all three teenagers' attentions, "Can you tell me what's wrong with him? The symptoms he showed, what he told you about, anything?"

"Ask Charlie," Kirby jabbed her thumb at the dark haired male, "He was the last one who saw him before today." The doctor turned to Charlie expectantly.

"Ah," Charlie coughed, "He didn't tell me much, actually. All I know was that he was coughing and sneezing a lot and went through about five boxes of tissues in two hours. Oh, I guess I should mention that he fell asleep twice while I was over at his house last weekend; the second time was right when we were in the middle of a conversation. We were talking about… stuff, and he was saying something and right in the middle of his sentence he just fell unconscious. I panicked and almost called 911 when I realized he was just sleeping."

"… Is he a narcoleptic?"

"… A narco what?"

"Someone who falls asleep randomly at any given time," Kirby answered for the doctor. "And no, not that I know of, and I've known him for five years."

The doctor nodded and wrote a few things down in the notepad he carried around. "Anything else?"

"Uh…" Charlie racked his brain. "When I first got over there, his face was really red and he wanted a glass of water. I got him an ice pack and he put it on his head, then ten minutes later, he was acting completely normal. … Which is fine, right? He's not going to suddenly die on us or anything, right?"

"Well, according to everything you've told me, he's got the symptoms of influenza down pat. How long has he been showing these signs?"

"He's been absent from school for two weeks," Olivia answered. The doctor frowned.

"Two weeks, huh… I'm not a—" He stopped himself. Kirby and Charlie both raised their eyebrows suspiciously, but the man quickly played it off. "I'm not a hundred percent positive," he said, "But this could definitely be the sign of something much more serious. Here."

He moved his spinning chair over to his desk and wrote something down on a small note of paper. "Take this down to the prescription clinic down on the first floor and give it to the clerk there. She'll prescribe this medicine to him. When he wakes up, tell him to take one pill every four hours, okay? If he doesn't show any signs of getting better, take him back here and we'll figure something out."

Olivia took the note while Kirby thanked him and went with Charlie to get Robbie. The dark haired male frowned when he realized something. "Hey," he started, catching the doctor's attention, "Aren't you supposed to do something to him? I don't know; take his temperature or something. I don't think you should take just my word for it. You're the doctor; you should be checking these things yourself."

The doctor gulped nervously and was about to say something before the phone suddenly rang behind him. He quickly apologized and answered the phone, bringing it up to his ear. "Uh-huh, yeah… Really? Oh, well… alright. I got it." He hung up and looked apologetically to the three conscious teens, "I'm sorry, but you really have to leave now. I have another patient I have to tend to."

"… You're a really crappy doctor," Kirby stated bluntly. Robbie took this moment to wake up, sliding out of the grasps of his two friends. He looked around for a few seconds before finally processing his location.

"Oh my God. You didn't. You _didn't._" He hissed at Charlie, who simply looked off to the side.

"_We_ did," he replied, "And don't worry. Your case was special; you got a ton of needles jabbed in your skin. They took a _lot_ of blood from you, so don't move around too quickly, okay? It was easy since you weren't awake to witness any of it anyway."

Robbie paled; he looked as white as a bed sheet. Olivia was on the verge of laughter; he looked so _funny_. "You're… kidding… right?"

Charlie shook his head. "Afraid not, _buddy_." Kirby turned around and covered her mouth with her hand to stop her snickering.

Robbie fainted again.

**OoO**

"I swear I've heard this somewhere," Olivia muttered, looking down at the prescription note the doctor gave her. "It's on the tip of my tongue…"

"No, it isn't," Kirby denied, "It's just one of those fancy words that doctors use to make themselves look smart at the rest of the world look like idiots."

"Methamphetamine?" The long haired blonde asked. "I don't even know if I'm pronouncing this right or not!"

"Who cares?" Charlie muttered, helping Kirby carry Robbie once more, "Like Kirby said, it's probably one of those fancy words."

"I'm glad someone agrees with me."

"I'll always agree with you." He responded quickly.

"Kirby," Olivia groaned, "Your judgments and opinions aren't _always_ correct, you know."

"Of course they are," Kirby grinned cheekily, "I'm Kirbiline Reed; whatever I say is always true, and even if it isn't… it's the new truth!"

They took the elevator down to ground level, ignoring all of the looks Kirby and Charlie received for hoisting a lanky teenager around. Kirby held her middle finger up at them, causing even more shocked reactions and parents covering their children's eyes. Olivia moaned, "Is that really necessary?"

"Yes. They keep looking at us funny."

The trio (plus Robbie) made their way to the prescription counter, where Olivia handed the female clerk the note from the doctor. She frowned as he remembered just barely getting himself out of Charlie's accusation of him not really checking up on Robbie. Someone was wrong here…

"Hello, Earth to Olivia?" Kirby waved her hand in front of the long haired blonde's face, causing her to step back and shoot the other an annoyed glare. "Oh, there you are. You just upped and sailed to Jupiter for a moment there."

"Haha," She laughed mockingly, "But anyway, Kirby, don't you think that this whole thing is a bit… weird?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like that doctor. Charlie made a pretty good point back there; he didn't even check Robbie's temperature! And you'd think that a doctor that got called out on that would quickly remedy that… he didn't even try. Phone call for another patient, my ass. Something's going on here, and I'm going to get to the bottom of it."

"Well, while you play _detective_, Miss Olivia," Kirby smirked, reaching over and grabbing the bottles of prescription pills from the returning clerk, "I'm going to drive Robbie back to his house and force these pills down his throat. He'll get better and come back to school in no time. You'll be proven wrong, because I'm saying otherwise. I'm always right, remember?"

Olivia frowned. "You're being ignorant, Kirby. You can't honestly think this is all normal. These other so-called patients… just look at them." She pointed to a group of people behind the short haired blonde, and Kirby turned to see a middle aged man well in his fifties sitting in his chair, eyes twitching and having mild muscle spasms. "That guy looks like a crack addict. Same goes for that woman, too."

Kirby looked to see where the other was pointing to now, and saw that the woman she was referring to was holding on tightly to her chair as if her life depended on it. Her eyes were dilated and she seemed to be hyperventilating; those nearby didn't even bother to help her. Kirby took a step forward before Charlie pulled her back with a concerned look on his face.

"Don't get yourself mixed up with those kinds of people, Kirbs," he advised, "I don't want you interacting with them and getting yourself into trouble."

Kirby scoffed, "Who are you, my mother? I don't need your guidance."

Olivia clicked her tongue on the roof of her mouth, "Do you get my point, Reed? These aren't normal patients. We've had this hospital here in Woodsboro since before we were even born, but something's changed. I'm going to find out what and get everything here back to normal."

"…" Kirby looked off to the side. "Do whatever you want," she said at last. "I trust the doctors here and… I'm giving Robbie the pills."

"You don't know what it is."

"It's a prescription medicine. The doctor wouldn't give out something illegal, and even if he did, the clerk would never give it to us."

"Not unless the clerk was in alliance with the doctor."

"Whoa," Charlie interrupted the argument between the two, even going as far as to physically step in between them, "You can't be saying that the entire _hospital_ has been overrun."

"I didn't say that. But… there's definitely something wrong with that doctor. Was he even Robbie's doctor?"

"Of course," Kirby scoffed, "Why else would he check up on Robbie?"

"But the thing is," Olivia continued, "He _didn't_ check up on Robbie. He just asked Charlie questions about his symptoms and whatnot without even laying a single _finger_ on him." Suddenly, upon the look on Kirby's face, Olivia looked smug. "… You're beginning to doubt yourself, aren't you?"

"Pssh, _no._" The short haired blonde denied, crossing her arms (causing Robbie to roll off and fall straight onto Charlie, whose knees buckled under the sudden extra weight). "I'm just… reconsidering."

"Meaning you're doubting yourself," Olivia grinned. "Hell yes. I finally one upped the invincible Kirby."

"… Shut up." Kirby frowned, snatching Robbie back up off of Charlie. "Let's just get in the damn car already."

**OoO**

"I can't believe you actually did this to me," Robbie moaned once they got back to his house, collapsing onto his bed. "I _told_ you guys I didn't want to go. And now my head hurts like hell and I'm out of aspirin."

"You shouldn't be taking aspirin when you have the flu anyway," Charlie chastised, walking in right behind him and followed by Kirby and Olivia, "You'll give yourself stomach bleeding."

"… How the _hell_ do you know that?"

Charlie shrugged, "I took one of those handbooks every hospital always has; I read it on the way back."

"You mean you could actually _read_ when _she's_ driving?" Olivia cocked an eyebrow but kept her attention fixed solely on her iPhone. She was looking up what Methamphetamine was on Google, curiosity finally having taken a hold of her.

"Yeah, I got used to it after the whole _Las Vegas_ incident. Mostly on the ride there, since, you know, we _couldn't drive back_."

"Which was completely Trevor's fault," Kirby added.

"… Which was completely Trevor's fault," Charlie finished.

"… Oh my God. Guys? Guys. GUYS." Olivia had her eyes wide open as she waved her hand in an effort to get the others' attention. "You're not going to believe this. I freaking _knew_ I heard of Methamphetamine before, just not _where_. Now… I know I heard it in Health."

"You'd think it'd be something from science," Robbie muttered face down into his pillow.

"No. It's a drug, all right. An illegal one."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "No way."

"Really. It's meth. Crystal meth. Get it? _Meth_amphetamine? How the hell did I not see it earlier?"

Kirby's eyes widened as well. "…_ Wow,_ we're dumbasses."

"Holy shit." Charlie started to panic. "We were given drugs. _Illegal_ drugs. Meth! _Crystal_ meth! Oh shit, if the cops find out, if _anyone _finds out, do you realize how _screwed_ we'll be? Oh my God."

Robbie looked horrified. "… How the _hell_ did I get _meth_ as a prescription drug?"

"I _knew_ there was something up with that doctor." Olivia frowned. "Looks like Woodsboro is no longer the bright and happy place we thought it once was."

"… We _never_ thought this place was bright and happy," Charlie pointed out, "Remember the whole reason why our small little town is so famous now?"

"Well, duh. But… this is new," Olivia pressed, "Shit. What are we going to do?"

"Shouldn't we call the police about it?" Robbie asked nervously. "I mean, we can just explain what happened, and we wouldn't get in trouble, right? It's not like I actually _used_ any of it… unless Kirby shoved some down my throat while I was still out."

"Nope. I'm clear of that." Kirby held her hands up.

"Great. Just great," Charlie groaned, "Our hospital's been overrun by drug dealers and we just played right into their trap."

"How so?" Olivia asked. "It's not like we really paid all that much for it. I'm pretty sure it cost just as much as a regular prescription."

"Of course it did," the long dark haired male continued, "It'd be a little weird if we had to pay a lot for what seemed like a normal prescription, right?"

"Right," Robbie agreed, sitting up a bit. He sneezed and grabbed another box of tissues from his nightstand. Sniffling, he added, "And I don't think illegal drugs are going to get rid of whatever I have."

"The flu, right?" Olivia asked. Robbie shook his head.

"No way. This has gone on for too long. I dunno maybe I just have the regular common cold…"

Kirby snorted, "You try telling that to the school, and they'll crack down on your sorry ass."

"We have more pressing issues here," Charlie spoke up. "Seriously, what are we going to do about these pills? We can't just leave them here!"

"I won't let you," Robbie frowned, holding a tissue up to his nose.

"… We can put them in Trevor's backpack," Kirby suggested, garnering shocked and confused looks from the other three. "What? He can get rid of them himself. It'd kind of be like my payback for making us walk all the way back from Las Vegas."

"That's a bit too severe, Kirby," Charlie said. "And Olivia already has her fingerprints all over it, so if the police find it, they'll trace it back to her."

"You two as well," Olivia pointed out. "I remember when we got in the car, I gave it to Kirby to hold on to it, and she gave it to you. Then when we got back here, you took it out and gave it back to me. So we're pretty much all screwed if it gets found besides Robbie."

"Which really isn't fair," Kirby said. "He's the whole reason why we're even in this mess in the first place!"

"Not my fault," Robbie muttered, "I was the one who _didn't_ want to go. Guess who dragged me there anyway?"

"You two." Olivia smirked at Charlie and Kirby.

"Anyway," the lanky male continued, "What about my suggestion of just explaining it all to the police? I really think that's the best thing we can do…"

"Too easy," Kirby said, and Olivia shot a glare at her. "What? It is."

"Would you rather go to jail?" She asked. The other shook her head.

"Hm… Quite the dilemma we're in," Charlie mused.

"What dilemma? Just give it to the freaking poli—ah _choo!_" Robbie sneezed into his tissue and quickly took five more from the box. "The freaking police," he finished.

"I still like my Trevor idea," Kirby shrugged. Olivia was going to say something, but the sound of a text ringtone filled the room and she looked down at her iPhone to see that it was hers.

"Shit. Mom's telling me I have to come home," she said upon reading the text message. "It's only five in the afternoon too, what the hell. Oh well. See you all later." She picked up her bag. "Wait. Kirby, you drove us all. I kind of need that ride back."

"Oh, right…" Kirby looked sheepish. "Alright, I'll drive you. Charlie, you coming?"

Charlie shook his head. "Nah, I'll stay here with Robbie for a bit. You two can go on; my house is close by anyway."

"Alright," the blonde shrugged. "Ready, Olivia?"

"Yeah." The two headed out of Robbie's room and towards the car, but not before Olivia popped back in and said quickly, "Get well soon, Robbie," before going back out.

Robbie stood there in relative silence with wide eyes. Charlie almost laughed; he looked so much like a child with a kiddy crush whose idol finally spoke to him. The moment was ruined when the lanky teenager had to sneeze into his tissues again; he balled up the used squares and threw them in the direction of the trash can once more. Not surprisingly, he missed again.

"She does care for me," He said with a content smile on his face as he took out five more tissues. Charlie snorted.

"Right. Maybe she really does have a heart under that bitchy exterior after all."

"Maybe you'll get your chance with Kirby someday."

"Maybe."

The two were silent for a few minutes after that, not sure of what to say to the other. Finally, Robbie remembered something rather important and spoke up, "Hey, uh… who had the meth last?"

"Olivia did, I think." Charlie took a second to process that. "… Kirby's going to take it from her and hide it in Trevor's bag, isn't she."

"I think so. Yeah, probably."

"… Shit."


	4. Why It's Trevor's Fault

**A/N: Hey look, an update!**

**This chapter takes place after the first chapter of this oneshot collection. C:**

**This chapter includes –**

**Improvised lyrics, Trevor teasing, Robbie teasing, cat fights, cowboys, jabs at Robbie's sexuality (again), hints of Charlie/Kirby, hints of Olivia/Robbie, a joke from Kirby about Trevor/Robbie, horses, and rope. Also a crazy dream sequence that may or may not have actually been a dream.**

… **Yep, that sounds about right.**

**OoO**

"I'm goin' on an _adventure_," Kirby sang as she sped down the road, most likely going at least twenty miles over the speed limit, "AndI've got my little group of buddies here with me, and we're going to _kick some ass_! Don't you bother runnin' me off the road, because I'll just get you first… I'll _kick your ass_! Nothin's stoppin' me on the road to _Las Vegas_!"

"What the hell are you singing?" Trevor shouted, covering his ears.

"Something she made up on the spot," Jill replied, not looking back.

"Hell yeah," The short haired blonde smirked, "I should totally get my own album someday. All the studios will be _dying_ to have me recording for them."

"Definitely," Charlie agreed immediately, but he went unnoticed.

The car bumped wildly as each second passed, causing the passengers inside to bounce up and down on their seats (or on Trevor's legs, in Robbie's case, which he would have one know is _very uncomfortable_). Kirby still had her foot cemented on the gas pedal, but the others seem to have gotten used to the constant bumps and general insane atmosphere of the vehicle (with the possible exception of Robbie).

"So… how long until we get there?" Olivia asked.

"No clue," Kirby responded truthfully, "And you know, I'm actually quite amazed that we haven't once ran out of gas despite the fact that I've been driving at a high speed for two hours stra—"

As if on cue, the car started to slow down. Kirby muttered a few quick curses under her breath and pressed down even harder on the pedal, allowing them a bit more distance before the vehicle slowly came to a stop in the middle of nowhere.

"… Please tell me you have extra gas stored somewhere in the trunk," Jill pleaded.

Kirby laughed. "Why would I have that? I wouldn't have any room for the suitcases that way."

"You're kidding me. We are not trapped out here in the middle of nowhere," Trevor said in disbelief. "What are we going to do?"

"No reception," Olivia pointed out, holding her phone and frowning at the nonexistent signal.

Charlie leaned over the front seat and gave Kirby a sad look, as if he was disappointed in her.

"Don't give me that," Kirby frowned, pushing the other's face away, "I've got this under control. Totally. Uh… Okay. I think we should all go out and look for people to help us."

"Oh, that's a great idea!" Olivia said sarcastically with a faux smirk on her face, "Maybe the locals won't kill us, hollow out our insides and set us on display for all of the world to see!"

"… What locals? I don't see any sign of life out here," Robbie muttered, looking out the window. "It's like a desert."

"You know what I mean."

"Why no, I don't. Care to elaborate?"

"You—" Trevor held Olivia away at arm's length via a hand to her face, preventing her from scratching Robbie's own. She continued to make futile flailing movements with her fingers outstretched; trying to attack a target she couldn't reach. "Stop holding me back, Trevor! I want to scratch him!"

"That sounds painful." Robbie sounded hurt, but the smile on his face betrayed his tone of voice.

"You damn—"

"Stop fighting before I throw both of you out and feed you to the natives!" Kirby shouted. "I'm trying to _think_!"

"_What_ natives—"

"Shut _up_, Robbie!"

"Make me!"

"I will!" Trevor had to hold her away again. He groaned.

"Refrain from fighting _on my lap_, please. If you really have to have a catfight, go outside."

Robbie hissed, "Catfight?"

"I'm up for it! Let's go, Mercer!" Olivia unlatched her seatbelt and grabbed Robbie's arm, yanking him towards her and effectively stretching out the seatbelt that was still stretched over himself and Trevor. Trevor leaned back at the sudden space he was given as Robbie coughed at the object pulling him backwards.

"Let go of him, Olivia," Charlie said nonchalantly.

"But… but…" Olivia glared at Robbie before finally letting go of his arm, and the lanky teenager immediately shot back and smacked his head onto Trevor's jaw – both males groaned in pain.

"Oh, God," Robbie moaned, rubbing his head, "What is your face made out of – titanium steel?"

"The same thing could be said for your head!" Trevor smacked the boy on top of him as if to prove a point, eliciting another yelp.

"Stop fighting!" Kirby shouted. "Trevor, I swear I'm going to throw you out, too!"

"Why me?"

"Because your face is pissing me off! Now _shut up_!"

Jill turned to look a Kirby with an eyebrow raised, "Are you really thinking of something, or are you just sitting there pretending?"

"I really am trying to think of something. I still think my 'go out and look for people' plan is still worth a shot. Offer's still available, Olivia."

"I'll pass," the long haired blonde huffed, finally settling back down in her seat.

"I think it's something worth trying," Charlie spoke up, "After all, it's better than just sitting around here doing nothing."

Trevor muttered under his breath, "Kiss-ass." Robbie frowned and jabbed his elbow backwards into the other teen's chest, eliciting an exclamation of pain.

"That's my best friend you're talking about," the lanky teen spoke softly, "And you know what?" He spoke at a louder volume, "Hey Kirby, I think it's a good idea, too."

"I'm glad _someone_ appreciates my genius," Kirby smiled at the male in the back. Charlie's eyes widened and he quickly sent a 'what the hell' glare to Robbie, who responded with his own look of 'I don't even know what just happened' and a shrug.

Jill sighed. "I don't want to stay in this car forever until some unlucky passersby find our dried up skeletons just sitting out here."

Trevor winced. "Nice imagery."

Kirby turned to the other three sitting in the back, "So, who's up for adventuring on foot?" Charlie and Robbie immediately raised their hands, and a few seconds later, Jill raised hers as well. Olivia and Trevor remained motionless. "If you don't come and we make it to Vegas on our own, I'm not coming back to get you."

"And neither will we," Charlie added for himself and the other two volunteers.

Olivia groaned, "Fine," and raised her own hand reluctantly. Trevor remained steadfast, however.

"I'm not going," he said for himself, "You can't be sure there are even people _out_ here, Kirby. It's like a million freaking degrees outside, and I'd rather not get sunburned."

"You're such a _girl_!" Robbie snickered, causing the other teen to glare back at him.

"You're one to talk!" The boy stopped laughing immediately, and he turned to face his new rival.

"What was that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly what that was supposed to mean!"

"I don't think I –"

"Okay, okay, stop fighting, girls," Kirby held up her hands, "I do not have the energy nor patience for this. If Trevor doesn't want to go, then no one is going to make him go. He can stay here and watch over my car and make sure nothing happens to her because if it does, I am going to personally kill him slowly and painfully. Also Robbie, I'd advise you to shut up because you're more feminine than Trevor."

Any taunting moves Robbie was going to make towards Trevor was halted once again in favor of giving Kirby an incredulous look. "What?"

Jill snorted, doing her best to contain her laughter. She wasn't doing very well.

Olivia, on the other hand, didn't bother to hide it at all. The long haired blonde burst out laughing, even going as far as to point a finger in Robbie's face to taunt him. "You just got _owned_, closet boy."

"Closet bo—I am not in the closet!" Robbie squeaked, his face turning red. "Why does everyone think that?"

"The way you act, how could anyone _not_ think that?" Trevor smirked, glad to finally have the heat off of him even for a little while.

Robbie made a high-pitched whining noise, and looked over to Charlie for support. "Charlie! Help me out here!"

Charlie shook his head and shrugged in an 'I can't help you' way, but even he had a small grin of his own. Robbie frowned at him.

"Okay, okay, enough of that," Kirby laughed, waving her hand dismissively, "Now that we've established Robbie's homosexuality,—" ("You've established _nothing_!") "—We can go on with what we were planning earlier. Charlie boy, Liv, Jilly bear, and Robert will accompany me on the adventure on foot, while Trev here stays and acts as my precious' loyal guard."

"Charlie boy?" Charlie asked in disbelief.

"Liv?" Olivia frowned.

"_Jilly bear_?" Jill seemed more surprised than the rest.

"Trev." Trevor nodded his head, content with his nickname.

"… Don't call me Robert. I have a nickname for a reason," Robbie frowned for what must have been the millionth time that morning.

Kirby laughed, "Don't tell me what to do. Time check! Olivia!"

Olivia looked down at the digital clock lighting up from her iPhone, "Eleven fourty two."

"Good," the self-proclaimed leader nodded to herself, "We have a lot of time."

"It's not like we had a shortage of time in the first place," Jill said, "After all, you basically just abducted five teenagers from their homes and dragged them with you on some cracked-up adventure to Las Vegas despite not having a clean driving record. Not to mention the fact that Dewey gave you your license back _this morning_."

"Hey, it wasn't expired," Kirby shrugged.

"It was taken away because the Woodsboro Police Department deemed you and your car as a _safety hazard_!"

"They just couldn't handle how awesome I am."

"Kirby—"

"I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over the deafening sound of how awesome I am."

"That doesn't even make any sense—"

"My awesomeness seems to be overpowering your voice at the moment; I can't hear a word you're saying. Try again later."

Olivia sighed. "Are we going to leave yet or what?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." Kirby answered her right away, causing Jill to give her a look of disbelief. "Come along, boys, girls, and Robbie!"

"Oh, I get a category all to myself now? I feel special," Robbie muttered sarcastically as he unlatched the seatbelt and finally got off Trevor's legs. "Oh my god I can't feel my legs. Trevor, you took the feeling out of them."

"Rough ride, eh?" Kirby winked. "That's Trevor for you." Olivia started snickering again.

"Yeah, it was -… HEY." The teenager gave the girls, especially Kirby, an incredulous look. "Stop it with the gay jokes! I'm not gay! I like girls!"

"Girls named Olivia?" Kirby turned to look at the blonde next to her. "… Yeah, you're better off batting for the other team."

Before Robbie could have another outburst, Charlie calmly placed a hand on his best friend's shoulder. "Just ignore them. If you show them that you don't care, they'll eventually get bored of it and just stop."

Trevor himself didn't seem to be very fond of being the object of the joke, but decided not to say anything.

"Onward, team!" Kirby pointed dramatically to the sky and marched forward, followed by the other four who had volunteered to go with her. They walked on, and soon they were out of sight from the car.

Trevor yawned. He could only imagine what kind of trouble they'd get themselves into. "They'll probably get lost," he told himself. "Charlie will try to win Kirby's affections, Kirby would just ignore him and pile gay jokes on Robbie, Robbie would get flustered, Olivia would laugh at his humiliation, and Jill would wonder why and how she even got involved with all of us. Same old, same old."

He kicked his legs up and wrapped them over the seat in front of him, getting into a more comfortable position. Grabbing his hat, he placed it on top of his head and tilted it downward to ward off the harsh rays of the sun. In just a matter of minutes, he was fast asleep.

**OoO**

He was awoken by the sound of muffled voices coming from outside of the car. Trevor brought his legs down and removed his hat. "Back already?" He asked himself before checking his phone for the time. Five thirty two. The others had been gone for nearly six hours. "… Damn, time flies by."

Realization struck him. "Six hours? Holy _shit_, they didn't die, did they?" He scrambled up to look out the window to investigate the noise, hoping it was just his friends preparing a prank or something to pull on him. No such luck. Instead, what he saw were a group of what seemed to be cowboys (they had horses and wore typical cowboy-ish clothing, complete with ropes and whips) who seemed to be trying to open the doors.

"Hey!" Trevor opened the door closest to him to call out to the cowboys, who quickly looked up at him in alarm. "Who are you? What are you doing?"

"Give us the car," one of the cowboys said in a deep voice. Trevor frowned; he wasn't intimidated in the slightest.

"I'll ask again. Who are you, and what are you doing?"

"We want the car," another cowboy spoke up. "Give it to us."

"Hold up. Why do you want the car? You have horses right there. Also, am I dreaming? I'm pretty sure I don't remember reading about cowboys in Las Vegas."

"Las Vegas?" The first cowboy sounded surprised. "You're in Montana."

"Montana?" Trevor's eyes widened. "Holy shit, Kirby sucks at driving. I'm never letting her drive ever again."

Ignoring his last statement, the second cowboy pulled out a gun and held it between Trevor's eyes. "I will not say this again. Give us the car, or else I will shoot you. You will die."

"… Uh," was the intelligent response from the teenager as he went cross-eyed to stare at the barrel of the gun. "The car doesn't even have gas…"

"Oh, that's not a problem." The first cowboy smacked his house, who immediately coughed up a tank full of gasoline. Trevor didn't understand. "We have gas right here."

"What the hell…" He shook his head. "Okay, I'm positive I'm dreaming now. There's no way this is real. So, okay, if you want the car, just take it. It's not mine anyway." He stepped aside with his arms raised in surrender. The cowboy kept his pistol trained on him even as he hotwired the car and got in. The other cowboys assisted in fueling up the vehicle with gas, and they stuffed their horses inside soon after.

Trevor wasn't quite sure what he was watching, but a few minutes later, he was tied up with one of the ropes and left there to die as they all drove away laughing like maniacs.

"I'm going insane," he deduced.

**OoO**

"Trevor. _Trevor!_"

Trevor coughed and spluttered as a cold liquid suddenly splashed on his face, and he quickly scrambled up, rubbing his face to get rid of the wetness.

… Or at least, that's what he would have done if his hands weren't tied by his sides.

He looked up to see Kirby looking down at him with the most disappointed and pissed off face he had ever seen in one expression. He wasn't quite sure how she was doing that. "… Yes?" He asked calmly.

"Where," she punctuated each word, "Is. My. Car."

Trevor, with great difficulty, managed to sit up and looked around. Sure enough, there was no car anywhere in sight.

"Yeah. We came back because hours passed and we couldn't find anyone, so we turned back around to make sure you didn't die yet," Robbie explained. "And… why are you tied up?"

Trevor looked at him directly in the eyes. "Cowboys."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "… Cowboys? We're in Las Vegas, or… some part of it, at least."

"But they told me we were in Montana…"

"I think you were hallucinating." Olivia nodded. "When was the last time you drank any water?"

"… This morning."

"Who cares when Trevor last had a glass of water? I want my car!" Kirby stomped her foot on the ground. "God damn it, Trevor, I got my license back _today_!"

"I think you should feel bad," Jill told him. "You should find her car, or else… she's never going to forgive you. And a vengeful Kirby is never good."

"Trevor, I want my car!" Kirby stomped on his stomach, but the blow was slightly softened by the ropes that were still wrapped around him. Seeing this, she continued to stomp on him. "Now what the hell are we going to do?"

"I think the only thing we _can_ do is walk back…" Robbie muttered softly.

"No! We've been walking for eight hours straight! I'm done walking!" Kirby shouted.

Charlie sighed. "She's been irritable and complaining that her feet were hurting, which is another reason why we decided to come back."

"Even if the car was still here, what would we do?" Olivia asked. "We still didn't have any gas."

"We would've had a temporary shelter, at least…" Jill mumbled. "Now we have nothing."

"Thanks to Trevor here."

"But… Cowboys!" Trevor shouted in poor defense.

Kirby spent the next few minutes venting her frustration on the ropes tying Trevor that they ended up snapping. This didn't stop her rage towards him and she lashed out and practically started wrestling him on top of the ground.

"I guess we just follow the road back…" Jill sighed, leading the way to the long journey back home.

**OoO**

**A/N: Silly Trevor.**

**I feel as if the ending to this chapter was a bit disappointing… Sorry about that. I'm really tired, lol.**


	5. Home Videos!

**A/N: Kind of mixing two requests into one here. This chapter was originally going to be a sequel to chapter… three, I think it was? And it still is.**

**In this chapter, we have –**

**A sick Kirby, a sick Charlie, a perfectly healthy Robbie, a seven year old Charlie, a seven year old Olivia, a six year old Robbie, Robbie's father, cameras, clothes, pillows, singing, karaoke machines, and dresses. And videos.**

**Also mentions of Trevor and Jill.**

**_Italics _are used a _lot_ in this chapter. Both to emphasize, and to differentiate the real world from the video. C:  
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**Enjoy!**

**OoO**

"Olivia just called. She wanted me to tell you guys that she doesn't feel sorry for you at all."

Kirby raised her right hand, holding her middle finger out. Charlie next to her started to laugh, but was interrupted by a series of coughs that left him feeling winded and dizzy.

"Ugh," he groaned, "I freaking hate being sick." He grabbed a tissue from the box and blew into it.

"Tell me about it," Kirby leaned her head back. "I guess one good thing came out of this, though."

"And what would that be?"

"I got to skip presenting my science project." She leered at the only teenager who was still standing on his feet in annoyance, "The same science project that _someone_ promised to do with me but never did!"

Robbie held up his hands in defense. "Hey, I was sick, remember?"

"Yes, and thank you for passing down your illness to _us_," Charlie muttered, "It isn't much appreciated."

"You're welcome!"

The blonde female rolled over and held her stomach. "God, how the hell did you survive for two weeks like this? I feel like my head's going to explode all over Charlie!"

"… Thank you, Kirby."

"And then Robbie will have to clean it all up and find a nice river to dispose and dump my corpse into since he's too much of a wimp to turn himself in for murder."

"What? If you died like that, how would I be responsible?"

"You gave me this damn disease!" Kirby sat up and flung her pillow at the wiry teenager, who scrambled to catch it. "Everything is your fault! _Everything_!"

"I agree," Charlie, the ever so yes-man, agreed.

"When do you_ not_?" Robbie frowned at his best friend, but didn't get a response.

"Whatever," Kirby groaned. "Now get out of my sight."

"… But this is my room."

"GET OUT."

Robbie's blue eyes widened and he quickly made his way out of the room.

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Why'd you tell him to leave?"

"His face was pissing me off," Kirby grumbled. "I am not in a good mood today. Fuck this."

She rolled off the bed onto her two feet, swaying dangerously for a second before regaining her composure. Blinking once, she immediately set to work on digging through the various dressers and drawings, having no respect of the owner's privacy.

"Robbie's not going to like it very much if he catches you going through his stuff," Charlie sniffed.

"Shut up. I'll kick his ass if he whines about it."

The two were currently inside of Robbie's house, specifically inside of his room. Just a mere two days after the entire hospital episode, the two teenagers who had dragged Robbie around caught his illness and demanded he give them hospitality in his own home until they felt better. (Well, more like Kirby demanded it from him. Charlie just went along with her.) Of course, Robbie was already perfectly healthy by the time they caught the disease.

"… By the way, Kirby." Charlie absentmindedly threw a used tissue into the small trash can all the way across the room; the thin paper ball bounced off the rim and fell onto the floor. He shrugged and figured Robbie would pick it up later. "What did you do with the meth that doctor prescribed to Robbie?"

Kirby shrugged. "I gave it to Trevor. I don't think he's noticed yet." Her head was pounding, but she ignored it in favor of throwing things around her friend's room. Her eyes widened as a small disc came into her view. "Why, hello there." She picked it up and made her way over to Robbie's laptop.

"What'cha got there?" Charlie, interest piqued, leaned up and over to get a closer view.

"No clue, but we're about to find out." She inserted the disc into the drive and waited for it to load. When the cue came up, she clicked on 'yes' and the video started to play.

_A Christmas tree was in the background, each decorative light blinking on and off every few seconds in a dazzling array of colors. Littered all across the ground were opened and torn wrappers, along with a few empty boxes._

"The hell is this?"

"Looks like a Christmas video," Charlie pointed out helpfully.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. Why the hell was this in Robbie's drawer, buried under a million shirts?"

"… Why were you even going through his clothes in the first place?"

Kirby didn't answer.

_A female voice called out, "Alright, let's see what everyone got!"_

_The camera's shaky view panned over the room, and two little children came into view._

Charlie's eyes widened. "Oh, shit."

_One of the children had black hair that reached down to just below his ears. He was smiling brightly and holding up a blue car. "I got this," he said in a high pitched voice. "Robbie's daddy gave it to me. Thank you!"_

"_You're welcome, Charlie!" A masculine voice replied from behind the camera._

Kirby's hand covered her mouth. "Oh my God." She turned to the teenager next to her, who was busy covering his face in his hands. "This is _you_?" Her shoulders shook as she tried to contain her laughter.

"I didn't know he still had this video…" Charlie muttered in humiliation.

"Probably to blackmail you with or something," Kirby responded. "This is amazing."

"No, no…" He shook his head. "If anything, Robbie could only use this to blackmail himself, which… doesn't make sense."

"Why, does he do something embarrassing? I must see."

"Something like that…"

"Damn, you were so cute. What happened?"

_The seven year old boy continued to beam up at the camera before settling down on his knees and rolling the car along the carpeted floor, making 'vroom, vroom' noises as he did so._

"_Do you like your present, Charlie?" The same feminine voice from before asked and seven year old Charlie nodded happily. The camera focused on the black haired boy playing with his car for about another minute before suddenly small Charlie's eyes widened and he looked distressed._

"_Oh no," he muttered. "Where's Robbie?"_

"_He's helping his mommy out in the kitchen. Why?"_

"_Did he open my present for him yet?"_

"Haha oh god, you look like you're about to cry." Kirby couldn't take her eyes off the screen.

"Shut up…"

"Why are you even celebrating Christmas with Robbie, anyway?"

"… Our families were really close," Charlie answered. "We celebrated Christmas every year."

"You didn't celebrate it with him last year. Or the year before that," Kirby pointed out.

"We stopped when Robbie turned twelve. This was before we met you."

"Obviously. Why'd you stop?"

Charlie chose not to answer.

_The other child, who had been silent up to that point, gave Charlie a frown. "You didn't give me a present!" She pouted._

"_Sorry, Livvy. Mommy said I could only buy a present for my bestest friend, and—"_

"_Yeah, I know it's Robbie. Hmph." The blonde turned away with her arms crossed._

Kirby's eyes widened. "… _Olivia?_"

"Yeah…" Charlie looked away nervously.

The blonde turned to fix him with a glare. "What the hell, man? I knew you and Robbie were besties since practically the day you two were born, but what the hell were you doing with _Olivia_? She told me she moved here three years ago!"

"She did. She moved away when Robbie was eleven, and moved back three years ago. She was gone for three years."

"Why the hell did she move? And why the hell do you keep using Robbie's age to describe when things happened?"

"One of her parents got a new job over in Maryland or something. No clue why they returned, but it was a welcome reunion." Charlie nodded. He paused to cough into his right hand before continuing, "And I'm using Robbie's age because it's easier and he's younger than me."

"Ah, alright. … Wait, what?"

_Small Olivia looked away, ignoring small Charlie as the young boy desperately tried to grab her attention._

"_Livvy! Livvy!"He waved his hands around in the air and in front of her face, but the young girl refused to give in. Small Charlie finally stopped and frowned. "Don't be like that, Livvy. You know we love you." He opened his arms wide in an embracing gesture._

_Small Olivia turned to look at him and finally dropped her arms from their crossed position. "Okay. I forgive you." She stepped forward to give him a small hug. The two children ignored the adults' exclamations of 'awww!'_

"That is so cute; I don't even know how to describe it." Kirby said. "So I understand you and Robbie celebrating Christmas together, but what was Olivia doing there?"

Charlie changed which arm he was leaning on. "Her parents were away on some kind of business trip, so my family offered to watch over her for the week which extended over Christmas."

"Damn. You got to live with Olivia for a week? How come you didn't score?"

Charlie's face paled. "We were _seven_!"

Robbie chose this moment to walk back into the room. "So, Kirby, feeling a little better?" He asked. In his hands was a tray with two bowls, presumably filled with a type of broth, on it with two glasses of water. "I brought you two some soup, so…" He trailed off as he looked up and realized what they were doing. "What the hell?"

"Why were you hiding this in your drawer, Robbie?" Kirby raised an eyebrow at him. "This is freaking adorable."

Robbie quickly set the tray down at the edge of his bed and dived forward to wrestle Kirby away from the computer. "No!" He shouted. "Stop watching that! Now!"

"Never!" Kirby kicked him in the face and he recoiled, scooting backwards to the edge of the bed while holding his nose, tearing up. "Wimp," she added before turning back to the computer.

"Chaaaarlieeeeee," Robbie whined, "You know what's going to happen in that recording! Stop her!"

Charlie looked at his best friend, then to Kirby. Then he looked back at Robbie. Back to the computer. Finally, he shook his head with a small smile. "Nah," he said, "I think Kirby deserves to know what happened that day."

"I hate you!"

"I love you, too." The black haired teenager crawled to the back of the bed and grabbed a bowl of soup. "Want it, Kirby?"

"Oh, sure. Give it here." She held out her arm for the bowl. Charlie stared at her, unamused, before walking over and placing it on the desk instead with one of the glasses of water. He went back and took one for himself as well.

Robbie looked as if he were about to cry.

"_Can you go get Robbie, please?" Small Charlie asked to the man holding the camera._

"_Sure thing, Charles. Here," the camera shook violently as it was passed to another person off-screen. "I'm going to get Robbie, so just hold that for now." Robbie's father came into view as the camera recorded him walking into the kitchen in the background._

_Small Charlie and Small Olivia played with their respective toys, the blue car and a doll, for a few minutes before finally the tall man came back into the room, followed by a much smaller young boy._

"_Robbie!" Small Charlie jumped up from the floor and ran over to his best friend. Small Olivia paid the boys no mind, instead choosing to continue playing with her own Christmas present. "Robbie, Robbie, did you open my present?"_

"_Um," Small Robbie put a hand to his chin as he tried to remember. "Oh! It was the microphone, right?"_

"_Yeah!" Small Charlie nodded excitedly. "I thought maybe we should try it out now!"_

Kirby raised an eyebrow and turned to Charlie. "You bought him a microphone?"

Charlie shrugged. "I thought it was a good present at the time."

"That microphone is the bane of my existence." Robbie was not amused.

"_You boys want to set up the karaoke set?" Robbie's father asked. Small Charlie nodded excitedly._

"_Yes! Yes!"_

"You were so freaking happy when you were younger," Kirby mused before turning to look at the present Charlie. "Now you're just emo."

Charlie scoffed, "I am not emo."

"And you," Kirby ignored the black haired teenager and turned to face Robbie, "You apparently used to be really quiet. Now you _never shut up_. It's like you two suddenly switched personalities or something! God!"

_Small Robbie shifted nervously on his feet. "I 'unno…" He muttered nervously._

"_Come on! It'll be fun! Livvy can sing too, if she wants!"_

_Small Olivia looked up from her doll and smiled. "I want to sing first! Can I sing first?"_

"_It's Robbie's present, he should go first." Small Charlie frowned._

"_No, I don't want to…" Small Robbie looked away. "Livvy can go first."_

"_Yay!" Small Olivia jumped up and ran over to the not-so-lonely-anymore karaoke set. "How do we set it up?"_

"_I'll do it." Robbie's father walked over with batteries in hand. The seven year old Olivia watched with wide eyes as he opened the battery compartment and placed the required amount inside before sealing it shut again with a screwdriver. "Can you give me the microphone, Olivia?"_

"_Yeah!" Small Olivia quickly ran over to the microphone lying in the middle of the room and picked it up. Just as quickly, she made her way back to Robbie's father, who thanked her and connected it to the machine._

"_There you go, kids. Olivia, you want to go first, right? Here's a list of songs you can choose from." He handed her a pamphlet of CDs the karaoke machine came with, and she scanned it in just a few seconds._

"_I want to sing this one," she pointed to one of the songs. Robbie's father nodded and grabbed the respective CD, placing it inside of the machine and turning it on. He turned to the correct track and gave small Olivia the microphone, which she held gleefully._

"_Go for it, kid."_

_The camera now focused solely on small Olivia, small Charlie and small Robbie in the background watching her. Small Olivia quickly got into the song when the vocal parts came up, dancing lightly on her feet. Her words were all correct, and while she did hit a few wrong notes here and there, it was mostly a remarkable performance._

_When she finished, all of the adults and small Charlie and small Robbie clapped for her, smiling all the while. "Thank you!" Small Olivia took a quick bow and held out the microphone for one of the boys. "Who wants to go next?"_

_Small Charlie nudged small Robbie forward. "You should go next, Robbie!"_

_Small Robbie frowned. "I don't know… I don't really sing…"_

"_You should try!" Small Olivia smiled at him. "It's a lot of fun!"_

"_Okay…" Small Robbie nervously took the microphone and slowly made his way to the karaoke machine. He changed it to a random track and waited for the song to begin._

"Here comes the end of my life," Robbie in the present hid his face in his hands.

"You three were so freaking _cute_," Kirby gushed. "God, it's like… once you all hit teenager age, you just suddenly become hideous. … Except for me, Jill, and Olivia, of course. We're all sexy. But unfortunately it seems that the same doesn't apply for guys."

"What's wrong with how we look now?" Charlie frowned.

"Your hair is too long. Cut it. Change it into a Mohawk."

"Hell no."

"Then remain ugly for the rest of your life. Trevor's too… Trevor. And Robbie, you have a cute face, I'll admit, but you're too skinny."

"… Are you calling me fat?" Charlie asked. He went ignored.

"You need to eat more. And work out. That doesn't hurt. Your current appearance just makes people think you're a geeky nerd."

"… Aren't they the same thing?"

"Which you are, but come on, don't make _that_ be people's first impression of you!"

Robbie ignored the rambling female, muttering small things to himself that Charlie couldn't even make out. "It's not that bad," he tried. Robbie shot him a glare, and he quickly shut up.

Kirby sniffed. "Robbie, go get me a tissue."

"Get it yourself."

"Give me a goddamn tissue, or so help me God, I will –"

"Fine!"

_Small Robbie shifted nervously on his feet as he waited for the long intro to the song to finish playing. Small Olivia and small Charlie were in the background, silently cheering him on. Small Robbie looked at them for a few seconds before taking a deep breath and starting to sing-_

_He sang softly, as if he was unsure of the words or the rhythm. Small Charlie in the back spoke up, "Sing louder!" Small Robbie sang at the same volume for a few more seconds before listening to his friend's advice, getting more into the song as it went on, but still remaining at a low volume overall._

_Small Olivia started clapping in the background to the beat, helping small Robbie along. He appreciated what she was doing, and started singing more on rhythm and louder, tapping his foot with the music as well._

_Small Charlie jumped in and suddenly grabbed the microphone from small Robbie during the chorus, singing loudly and with energy. Small Robbie frowned and tried to take it back, but small Charlie refused to return it. Eventually, the two decided on just sharing it, and the song quickly turned into a duet._

"_I want to sing with them!" Small Olivia shouted loud enough for the camera to hear and she jumped in as well, easily snatching the microphone out of small Robbie's hands and singing into it with the same passion she had earlier for her own song. Small Charlie grabbed the microphone as well and held it in place between himself and the other two, allowing everyone's voices to be heard at an equal volume._

_The song ended, and the adults all laughed and cheered for the children as they jumped up and down in happiness._

"… That's it?" Kirby looked at the screen as the video ended, and she found herself back on Robbie's wallpaper. "That was so… disappointing." She blew her nose in the tissue Robbie gave her and threw it backwards without even looking.

"Ew!" Robbie squealed as it hit his face. Charlie snorted.

"I don't get what you were so against this for," Kirby muttered. "I mean yeah, I've never heard you sing before, ever, and that's probably the closest I'll get to it, but really? That was disappointing. You disappoint me."

"That's not all of it," Charlie pointed out helpfully. Robbie looked as if he wanted to strangle him.

"Oh, really?" The blonde leaned in closer to the screen and her eyes widened. A grin spread across her face and she started cackling evilly. "Oh, this is going to be good…"

The first video, the one with small Olivia and small Charlie and small Robbie, was labeled simply as 'December 25 of 2000.' Directly under that was a video Kirby hadn't seen earlier, labeled 'NEVER AGAIN'.

"What is this, I wonder…?" She laughed as she clicked on the video, and it popped up.

Robbie's face was already red and the video hadn't even started yet.

_Small Charlie was the only person on the camera this time, but he was in a different room._

Kirby immediately recognized it as Robbie's room, eleven years ago.

"_So my mom bought a bunch of clothes for me and Livvy," Small Charlie explained to someone off-camera, probably small Robbie, "And Livvy said she wanted to see us in her clothes."_

"_No I didn't!" Small Olivia frowned and marched into view of the camera. "I said I wanted to see _Robbie_ in my clothes, not you!"_

"_Why not me?" Small Charlie looked hurt._

"_You'd look horrible in a dress," Small Olivia nodded. "Robbie might be able to pass it off, which is why I want to see him in mine."_

"_Do I have to…?" Small Robbie asked off-camera._

"_Yes!" Small Olivia shouted at him. She jumped up onto a table and grabbed a plastic bag. Inside was a variety of brightly-colored dresses. She chose a light blue one and took it out, handing it to small Robbie off-camera. "Wear this one! I think this one will look nice!_"

Kirby's grin remained in place.

"_I don't know…" Small Robbie frowned. "Isn't it a bit… girly?"_

"_That's the point, silly!" Small Olivia lightly tapped his nose. "Now go try it on!"_

"_I'll help!" Small Charlie jumped up and ran over to small Robbie off-camera. As he was doing this, small Olivia walked up to the camera and picked it up, revealing that it was on the floor the entire time. She panned it around the entire room, showing that there were no adults anywhere._

_She focused the camera on small Charlie and small Robbie, as the former was helping the latter take of his jacket._

"God, I hope you three didn't have a threesome or something," Kirby muttered absentmindedly. "It sounded like you were trying to talk Robbie into having sex with you two."

"Oh, hell no." Charlie rolled his eyes. "I don't think we even knew what sex was at that age."

Robbie's face was red. "I was _six_!"

_The camera blacked out as small Olivia bumped into something on small Robbie's bed, and a pile of clothes tumbled off and over the lens._

"Aw!"

"Why do you want to see a six year old me getting undressed?"

_Small Olivia had been removing all of the fallen clothes, and by the time the last one covering the lens was removed, small Charlie was in plain view smiling triumphantly. "I'm done!" He sang._

"_Where'd he go?" Small Olivia was looking around for her disappearing friend._

"_Right here…" a small pale hand waved from inside a closet. Small Robbie had run away while small Olivia was clearing the clothes away._

"_Get out of there!" Small Olivia huffed. "I want to see what it looks like!"_

"_It feels weird…" Small Robbie muttered._

"_I think it fits you," Small Charlie nodded. "Just show Livvy."_

"_I'm going to drag you out of there if you don't come out yourself! Five…"_

"_No!"_

"_Four…"_

"_Never!"_

"_Three…"_

"_Livvy!"_

"_Two…"_

"_Please don't!"_

"_One…"_

"_Charlie! Help me!"_

"_You're on your own, Robbie!"_

"… _Zero! Come out, Robbie!" Small Olivia marched forward and forcefully pulled open the closet door, causing small Robbie to squeal. She ignored him and grabbed his hand, pulling him out and into view of the camera._

Kirby laughed loudly. "Haha! Little Charlie was right; it _does_ fit you!"

"Relax," Present Charlie spoke up, "This was eleven years ago. I don't think you look so well inside of dresses anymore."

Kirby's eyes lit up. "Let's fit him in some."

Present Robbie was mortified. "No!"

_Small Robbie's face was painted red as he stood awkwardly in front of small Olivia, who was inspecting him carefully. He pulled down slightly on the dress that came just barely past his knees, and held the thing straps keeping the whole thing together in place so the dress wouldn't slip off. "This feels weird, Livvy," he muttered. "Why do girls wear dresses all the time?"_

"_Because it feels nice!"_

"_I feel naked," small Robbie whispered._

"_Can I try one, Livvy?" Small Charlie asked, referring to the other dresses small Olivia had._

Kirby laughed again. "Oh, God! Please tell me she said yes!"

"Sorry to burst your bubble, Kirby, but…"

"_No!" Small Olivia shoved him away from her piles of dresses. "Those are mine!"_

"_But you let Robbie wear one!"_

"_Because he looks nice in it!"_

"_No I don't!"_

"_Be quiet! You do!"_

"_Just one, Livvy? Please?" Small Charlie made little grabby motions with his hands towards the dresses. Small Olivia narrowed her eyes and smacked them._

"_No means no!"_

_Small Robbie sighed as his two best friends argued with each other over the dresses. His eyes caught sight of the camera and he frowned, walking forward, and –_

"Aw! Damn your younger self!" Kirby nearly punched the screen as the video ended and she found herself back at Robbie's wallpaper.

"That's not very nice," Robbie muttered, looking everywhere except at Kirby and Charlie, "Why would you damn a child? They didn't do anything to you."

"It's you. I'm completely justified."

"Now, that's just mean!"

Kirby sniffed and hurled herself back on the bed, ignoring Charlie's screams as she practically crushed him under body. "I'm tired! Robbie, get me a pillow!"

"You threw one at me earlier! You don't even sound sick anymore!"

The short haired blonde coughed into her hand. "Oh no," she muttered, "I feel faint. Please, kind Robbie, retrieve a pillow for me and place it under my head. I require it."

Robbie rolled his eyes.

Charlie gasped for air, "Can… you get… off me?"

"Not until Robbie gets me my damn pillow."

"Robbie…!"

"No."

"It's your freaking house!" Kirby shouted. "Just get one from the closet or something?"

"Why don't you?"

"I'm sick! Ill! Diseased! You don't want me getting my diseased germs all over your house, now do you?"

"You've already got it all over my room! And… where did you find the disc, anyway?"

"She… found it in one of your drawers," Charlie answered. He sneezed once before continuing. "She said it was under a pile of shirts."

"… Why were you going through my shirts?"

"I have reasons!" Kirby defended herself and kicked her legs, ignoring Charlie's groans as she kneed him in the stomach. "Get me a freaking pillow, Robert!"

"Don't call me that!"

"I'll call you what I damn wish if _you don't get me a damn pillow_!"

"Fine, fine…" Robbie sighed and walked over to the area of the room where he was hit by the flying pillow from earlier. He leaned down to pick it up and threw it haphazardly back at his 'guest', who caught it by rolling off Charlie and letting it hit him instead.

"The world just hates me, doesn't it…" the teenager muttered as Kirby lifted the pillow off his face.

"You and me both, buddy." Robbie sighed.

"I'm going to sleep," Kirby announced, "I kindly suggest you two shut the hell up and let me sleep, or else I will rip off both of your faces."

They stared at her.

"Also, Robbie, call Jill and tell her to get her ass over here."

"Why?"

"I need to show her that video."

"NO!"

**OoO**

**A/N: Jill hasn't really had much of a role in any of these oneshots, has she…? That'll change with the next chapter/request, as she's in it a lot. C:**

**Also a note: Charlie and Robbie won't be in the next chapter. They might be mentioned, but they won't appear in person. Kirby's in it, though. (I'm trying to balance the characters out a bit more now xD So far this has mainly focused on just Charlie, Robbie, and Kirby… with Olivia as a main side character. I'll try to focus on Jill and Trevor more~)**


End file.
